WWN Guide To Picking Your Nose

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In a recent study carried out by Trinity College Dublin, 76% of Irish people have admitted to not being able to pick their nose properly, with a further 12% being admitted to hospital for nose picking related injuries every year. The following guide is to help prevent such instances.

Never pick and drive. Last year in Ireland, 23,456 people were killed while picking and driving, despite a €45 million government campaign launched in 2012 to educate motorists about the dangers of picking while operating a motor propelled vehicle.

The biggest mistake people make when picking their nose is using the wrong finger. You must never use your thumb, ring or middle finger to extract dried up mucus. Due to their size and flexibility, the index and little finger are the only digits to be used, but not at the same time. Experts insist that the pinky finger should be the only finger used as it fits neatly up the nostril. You may use the index finger, then to scrape the remnants from the edges of the nostril. NOTE: toes should never be used to pick your nose.

Before flicking, always roll up your freshly picked mucus into a ball so it can be easily be sucked up by a hoover. Rolling also reduces the stickiness of the spherical membrane. Never wipe snots under your seat at work or cubicle as there may be more there from a previous shift or colleague. Mixing snots can cause an explosive chemical reaction which can kill.

Although frowned upon in Western society, storing your nasal mucus can have its benefits, with some Asian brokers willing to spend $4,000 per kilo of human snot.

Nasal mucus can also be used for a variety of things, including: lubricant, sticking notes to computer screens, play dough, sun screen, and can even be used to condition your hair.

Always pick the left nostril with the left hand and vice versa. Cross picking is bad picking and is illegal in some Middle Eastern countries.

Make sure to keep your picking fingernail long enough to scoop. There is nothing worse than trying to scoop that mucus out with your fingertips alone, this can lead to bleeding and can cause blood clots, which sometimes go straight to the brain, killing you instantly.

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