Nation Enters Drinking Bootcamp Ahead Of Paddy’s Day

IN an attempt to learn from mistakes made in previous years, the Nation has begun day one of an exhaustive Paddys Day Drinking Bootcamp in order to prepare its liver for a balls-to-wall drinking session on the 17th of March.

Feeling apprehensive about the sheer volume of alcohol it will have to consume to keep up with outdated and somewhat self-imposed stereotypes, the Nation has gotten a head start on prep for the big day.

“Our clients come to us looking for one thing, and that is to be turned into a well oiled drinking machine that laughs in the face of hangovers,” explained the head of the Paddy’s Day Drinking Bootcamp Conor Tynan.

Tynan put to use years of experience of going out 2 or 3 nights a week every week and drinking to excess by setting up an alcohol drinking boot camp, which works off the same principals seen in many ‘get fit’ fitness boot camps.

“I just knew I had this talent/problem I could share with everyone else and so the boot camp was set up,” Tynan revealed.

The Nation will start on a strict diet of 2 or 3 pints this evening, before slowly taking on more and more drink as they get closer to the 17th of March, all in the hope of acclimatising the body to the inevitable alcohol abuse it will suffer on St Patrick’s Day.

“It’s all about getting into a routine, and yes initially it’s punishing to body, you won’t know yourself when you’re 12 pints into the day and still going strong, a lot of clients have even managed to avoid vomiting, they’re probably my proudest achievement,” Tynan confirmed.