Mummified Remains Of Election Count Staff Found After 19th Count


AN INVESTIGATION is underway after the bodies of 39 counting staff were found mummified at their desks in a midlands election centre, some still clutching ballot papers.

It is believed that the dead may have been there since the weekend, and a tally board suggests they were on their 19th count.

Although the majority of Dáil seats have been filled following Friday’s general election, counting is still underway in some parts of the country, with transfers and unmet quotas delaying the election process.

These counting centres have been told to make sure staff are rested, fed and given plenty to drink to prevent a repeat of the tragic situation.

“It’s like they were mid-count and just… stopped living,” said the state pathologist who attended the grim scene.

“Like the process of being forced to do re-count after re-count just sucked the life out of them. From what we can gather, two of the three seats in the constituency had been filled, and there was a battle for the last seat between two independent candidates, separated by only five votes. In the end, it looks like these people just gave up and died”.

Following the removal of the bodies, a complete re-count of the ballot will commence later today.