Nation To Get The Government It Deserves


WITH the majority of votes counted and seats filled in the 2016 general election, the Nation is trying to make peace with the fact it is edging closer to getting the government it deserves, WWN has learned.

Nearly 8 years on from the financial meltdown of the country which saw close to 100% of ordinary citizens adversely affected, no clear alternative to traditional parties has emerged. As a result, it is likely Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael will be given another chance to finish Ireland off for good.

“Yup, I mean, we deserve everything these pathetic feckers can throw at us, we keep voting for them so I’ve no sympathy for us,” Galway based voter Sean Hughes shared with WWN.

Elsewhere the mood was different.

“I can tell you one thing, this isn’t my fault. I didn’t vote for the same old fuckers,” explained Waterford man James Farrelly, who instead voted for a representative of a party he knew full well would get significantly less than 5% of the popular vote, and thus have little chance of implementing its anti-austerity pledges.

The majority of polls leading up to election suggested that no major party would have anything approaching a majority, meaning many voters were aware that none of the parties they would likely vote for could follow through fully on any of the policies they outlined in their manifestos.

“I voted for stability, so I voted for Fine Gael, so whatever happens, my conscience is clear,” explained Dublin voter Christina Herlihy who must have been aware Fine Gael had next to no chance of securing the necessary seats to provide ‘stability’.

Political experts have been unified in their assessment of the election results so far.

“It’s the perfect fit for the Nation when you think about it, the endless lies, empty promises, disdain for those really struggling, short termism. Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael tick all the boxes we don’t want to tick and yet we voted for them anyway, it’s like we get off on hurting ourselves or something,” Niamh Healy, political expert confirmed to WWN.