Political Parties Confirm Mental Health Is Their 1,234th Priority


AFTER much soul searching due to the recent swell of publicity garnered by mental health campaigners and organisations, the four main political parties have made huge strides in their respective mental health policies, WWN can exclusively reveal.

While the general Irish public is becoming increasingly aware of the dearth of services in the country for those suffering with mental health problems and the complete lack of an overall strategy, the political class has been slower to acknowledge the situation but the latest news from the campaign trail is set to change all that.

“We’re pushing hard on reforming mental health services, it’s our 1,234th priority,” confirmed the Taosieach Enda Kenny while out canvassing this morning with his new ‘jobs’ tattoo featuring prominently on his forehead, “I think the public will respond to that, it’s sandwiched between other big priorities of ours like bringing an end to people talking loudly on their phones on buses, and stopping dogs doing poos outside your house on the grass,” the Taoiseach added.

This transformative shift in attitude towards mental health has been echoed by other parties who have collectively uttered the word ‘suicide’ under their breath at least once in the last 5 years of the current election cycle.

“Make no mistake about it, mental health appears in our manifesto plenty times… we call into the question the mental health of the Government at least 50 times, they’re a bunch of loonies,” a Fianna Fáil spokesperson confirmed, delicately outlining their passion for bringing an end to the obstinate cowardice of Irish politics in its inability to confront the issue head on.

The monumental uptake in appetite for tackling mental health problems was highlighted by Newstalk as the radio station revealed the four main parties dedicated less than 1% of their manifestos to mental health.

“We believe passionately in mental health, but our plan is so good for solving it, we can’t even tell you about it, it would just blow your mind, it’s so specific and detailed we’d probably bore you right now,” a Sinn Féin party spokeswoman confirmed while giving out on behalf of the party earlier today on the campaign trail.

Labour were the only party to decline to outline their policy on mental health simply informing WWN that “Fine Gael haven’t told us what to say yet”.