Recycling Added To List Of Things Government Wants You To Pay Twice For

NEW bin charges to be introduced in July of this year will see a reduction in bills for 87% of people, the Government has confirmed.

“Look, it’s very simple: you pay to have your bins collected, and we want to charge you for what’s in the bins, and if everything goes to plan, we’ll charge you for what isn’t in the bin at some stage too,” minister for the environment Alan Kelly explained.

The public has already reacted angrily to news they will be charged for the same thing twice, through the medium of hard to comprehend additional charges.

“And this is where the reduction comes in, obviously, this is very simple, are you following? You’re not, Christ, some of you people,” the minister added while throwing his hands up in the air.

“Remember when we decided to charge you for water on top of your taxes, when it was already covered by them? Well, this is exactly like that, only with rubbish.”

Along with the charges, which will come into force in July, Mr. Kelly is also proposing a tax on pedestrians for using footpaths, suggesting a €40 flat rate for any person wishing to walk on them.

“I can’t believe big Phil missed these measures,” he concluded. “I’m a political genius. Next stop: Europe.”