Pretty Safe To Say Everyone Now OK With Internet Cookies


INTERNET users around the globe have united in an unprecedented campaign aimed at assuring the owners of the worldwide web that they are 100% OK with the use of cookies on websites.

However, during a press conference beamed live from Internet headquarters in Greenland, officials explained that while they were sure that users were OK with the use of cookies, the only way to be absolutely certain was to ask people on a website by website basis.

Calls from web users from all over the world to perhaps implement one single banner where one could click “accept” to all cookie based questions were shot down, with Internet chiefs giving the example that people may be totally cool with accepting cookies from Buzzfeed, but be vehemently, furiously opposed to accepting cookies from the Huffington Post.

“If there isn’t a banner warning users that this website uses cookies to enhance their browsing, then you’re into the realms of anarchy,” said Ian Terrents, chief spokesperson for the Internet.

“So we have to be sure to ask you, every time you visit a website. And because people’s minds can change from one day to the next, we have to continue asking if you accept cookies even if you’re visiting the same site over and over. We appreciate that it may be annoying, and we’ll do our best to make the banners smaller so they don’t cover more than 90% of the webpage”.

Although web users begrudgingly accepted the rules laid out, the vast majority of them admitted to being none the wiser as to what a cookie is and what it is used for.