Republicans Call For End To ‘Archaic’ Good Friday Agreement Killing Ban

REPUBLICANS have called on the Government to lift the ban on killing people as enforced by the Good Friday agreement, describing the current law as “archaic” and “racist”.

The Good Friday agreement is due to remain in place during this year’s Easter Rising 100-year commemoration, and will prohibit the unlawful killing of any British or Irish citizen under the name of Republicanism.

“It just seems a bit unfair we can’t just go out and shoot a couple of soldiers for old times sakes,” expressed an emotional IRA member today. “Kids these days don’t even know what it’s like to have their daddy in jail for murdering a Brit. The pride is gone, and it’s because of this silly Good Friday law they made years ago.”

The two main representative groups, the Real IRA and the Continuity IRA, have called on the Government to immediately introduce legislation to abolish the agreement, just for Good Friday, to mark the hundred year rising. Under its current terms, Good Friday is the only day of the year on which such actions are prohibited.

“Next they’ll be telling us we can’t kneecap youngsters,” a spokesman for the Real IRA said. “It’s like the last hundred years were a waste of time.”

Taoiseach Enda Kenny said he will address the issue in the Dail later today.

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