5 Things No One Wants To Hear From Their Doctor


WHETHER it’s just a routine visit to the doc, or you find yourself there in the waiting room because you’re concerned about something specific, there are a few things you never want to hear from your GP. Luckily for you, WWN has a handy list of those very things below:

1) “Your scrotum is gorgeous”

This can be especially stressful for women, but if a GP was to point out that out of the thousands of scrotums they have perused over a lifetime, they happen to think yours is beautiful, you might not appreciate it.

An increasing number of men are suffering from scrotum dysmorphia and casual off the cuff comments about their scrotum could really set them off.

2) “You’re fine”

For many, the news that they have won the health lottery and have nothing wrong with them can be a source of huge frustration. All that worry for nothing, and it’ll be hard to spin a decent online status update out of getting the all clear. Fingers crossed this isn’t you next time you make a visit.

3) “That’s not coming out any time soon”

While only 60% of adults accidentally fall on lubed up cucumbers and other assorted phallic objects, the news that it ain’t coming out any time soon will send more than a shudder down a patient’s spine.

4) “I’ve got this yoke on my foot, can you see it there, have a look”

It can be concerning when you arrive in the doctor’s examination room only to be asked to reassure him or her about every little ailment that has them paranoid today. But, on the plus side you can charge 60 quid a pop.

5) “So we’ll have to send you to A&E”

The dreaded sentence that has seen so many patients lose up to 4 months of their lives by waiting on a trolley. Ireland’s A&E departments differ to those in many other modern nations in that they don’t get around to treating you until you have adequate proof you might die right this second, and have filled out a form for the Minister for Finance justifying spending the money required to treat you.