WWN Horoscopes
aries
21 March – 20 April
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/aries-tb.gif)
It’s Blue Monday, statistically the most depressing day of the year. Not for you; you’re doing juuusssst fine! Everything’s coming up Aries!
taurus
21 April – 21 May
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/taurus-tb.gif)
Don’t check your bank balance. You will not like what you see.
gemini
May 21 – June 20
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/gemini-tb.gif)
You’d be perfectly OK with an accident at work, if it meant you got some of that sweet compensation money.
cancer
June 21 – July 22
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/cancer-tb.gif)
You going to eat that?
leo
July 23 – August 22
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/leo-tb.gif)
You haven’t been to mass in 16 years, but you still bless yourself when passing a graveyard.
virgo
August 23 – September 22
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/virgo-tb.gif)
You no longer da man. Someone else is da man. You fondly reminisce about the time you spent as da man.
libra
September 23 – October 22
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/libra-tb.gif)
That’s just typical of you Libra fucks, you sneaky fucking bastards.
scorpio
October 23 – November 21
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/scorpio-tb.gif)
The peas in your Pot Noodle do not count as one of your five a day.
sagittarius
November 22 – December 21
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/sagittarius-tb.gif)
You should probably run that under a tap or something.
capricorn
December 22 – January 19
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/capricorn-tb.gif)
You score a perfect ball of paper over-the-shoulder dunk into the waste paper basket, and NOBODY was there to see it.
aquarius
January 20 – February 18
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/aquarius-tb.gif)
Your closest friends would describe you as being like a new pair of shoes; really painful to begin with, but eventually sort of alright, just before it’s time to get rid of you.
pisces
February 19 – March 20
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/pisces-tb.gif)
It’d be really ironic if you drowned.