Taoiseach Refuses To Disclose Election Date Until Everyone Is Sitting Quietly


ENDA Kenny has revealed that he has set a date for the general election, but is refusing to divulge any more information until everyone has settled down and is sitting quietly.

“I have it written here on this piece of paper”, the current Taoiseach told an assembly of press and political commentators earlier today.

“The general election will be held… this spring. And it will be held… soon. And the date of the election will be… nope, not reading it out. Some of you aren’t listening. No, I think I’ll keep this bit of information to myself, if you aren’t going to show me the correct respect”.

The refusal of the Taoiseach to just come out and tell everyone when the election would be irked many of the people in attendance, but their exasperation only led to Mr. Kenny to deny them the information they wanted.

“Ugh, it’s just so annoying,” said one reporter we talked to.

“It’s just ridiculous. We all know there’s going to be an election in the spring, we’ve known for ages. And if Enda has set the date, then there’s no reason for him to withhold the date, except to power-trip over us one last time before he gets voted out of office”.

Political analysts have long assumed that the general election will be held on the 26th of February, although there has been rumours that Kenny may want to pull that date forward to capitalise on the fact that polling stations in the midlands are still underwater, preventing those constituencies from voting against the Government.