RTÉ Unveil €1 Million ‘Bionic’ Brendan O’Connor For New TV Show


IRELAND’S National broadcaster RTÉ has today unveiled its new €1 million euro bionic Brendan O’Connor for a new panel show at a press conference earlier today.

The B-2000, a part-human, part-robot machine, was revealed by director general Noel Curran to a gobsmacked room full of reporters who gathered at the Donnybrook studios this morning.

Pulling back a white sheet, journalists were greeted with a fascinating example of modern science and engineering as it marched its way to the podium to say a few words.

“How about those floods eh?” the B-2000 opened, before delivering what appeared to be a punchline to the silent crowd. “If it rains anymore we’ll have to put a roof over the country”.

Interrupting the rather awkward silence, RTÉ director Curran interjected by saying: “we still have a few humour issues to iron out, but the B-2000 should be fully operational by its first show in May”.

The national broadcaster is set to also pump an extra €1.12 million into the show, on top of the €1 million B-2000, which its designers say is impervious to negative comments from licence fee payers.

“This new model is virtually indestructible against viewers’ opinions and is expected to last 16 weeks in the Summer,” lead engineer Prof. Chin Woo told WWN. “Awkward silences will be filled with an inbuilt series of inappropriate phrases like ‘I wouldn’t mind giving you one’, and ‘tell the audience about your mental health issues’ – perfect for RTÉ”.

The B-2000’s predecessor the B-1000 had fronted the Saturday Night Show for five years before being replaced by Ray D’Arcy.