Real Santa Opts To Spend December In Grotto In Blanchardstown Centre

EVERY year kids are brought to a grotto in a shop to meet Santa Claus under the illusion that they’re meeting the man himself, but Santa can only ever be in one place at any given time… and this year, Father Christmas has chosen the Blanchardstown Centre in west Dublin as his hang-out for the season.

Rather than spend December making last minute preparations at the North Pole, Claus prefers to chill out in a small wooden shed in the clear area across from Penneys, making what he calls “a nice few quid” by charging parents a tenner to bring their kids in to see him.

Saving all the good presents for Christmas Day itself, Santa keeps costs down by giving kids a cheap trinket, and by hiring local elves at minimum wage to run the operation.

When asked why he chose Blanch over of all the shopping centers across the world, Santa replied that he had pretty much thrown a dart at a map.

“It’s a handy nixer,” said Santa, tucking into a Nandos during his break.

“I’d do every shopping center in the world if I could, but it’s just not possible. So all those other places have to make do with some lad in a fake beard dishing out crappy toys out of the Euro shop. This year, the Blanchardstown Centre gets the real deal”.

Santa then finished his meal before heading back for the late shift, adding that he hoped that there would be “no whingers” this afternoon.