Bachelor Posts Picture Of His Dog, Again

250
0
Share:

FRIENDS of bachelor Marc Jacobs have voiced their concern about his lacklustre love-life following yet another lonely picture posted of his dog.

The Facebook upload, which shows himself and his mongrel ‘Scampy’ together in the woods while out for a walk, loitered newsfeeds for a third time this year with the caption ‘the only friend I need’.

“It’s obviously a cry for attention,” speculated long-time friend Timmy Ryan, who smugly admitted to having a girlfriend of his own. “Time he got a woman for himself. He’s nearly hitting forty now and all he cares about is his feckin’ dog.”

Jacobs later denied he was lonely, stating that life as a bachelor living with his dog is far more satisfying than “being shacked up with some qware wan’.

“Scampy doesn’t nag, have recurring mood swings or insist on watching reality television programs every night.” he pointed out. “In fact, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. That’s if, people would just leave me the fuck alone and stop telling me to hook up with some bitch that will eventually rip my heart out and leave.”

Breaking down slightly, the 38-year-old began frantically petting his four-legged friend, whispering into her ear, begging her to never leave him, no matter what.

Share:
X