Dublin Airport Evacuated After Build Up Of Guinness Farts


HUNDREDS of people were briefly evacuated from Terminal 2 in Dublin Airport this morning after a series of Guinness farts engulfed the departures lounge.

“It’s Christmas and we’ve had a lot of people drinking the black stuff at the airport and things got out of hand,” said spokesperson for Dublin Airport Authority, Siobhan O’Donnell. “The smell got so bad at one point that several staff members had to be treated for septic shock. Eventually we had to evacuate parts of the terminal around the bar area.”

Following today’s incident, all passengers will be restricted to just 14 pints of Guinness per person in a bid to contain the release of toxins in the airport.

“This is the third time this year we had to evacuate the airport due to the smell of Guinness farts,” Ms. O’Donnell added. “At least it’s contained to the departures lounge and not the arrivals, where our valuable tourists come through. With this 14 pint restriction, we should hopefully have all farts under control by this evening.”

Along with a code yellow Guinness fart warning, the airport has also issued a code red ‘shart warning’ for all passengers who ingest the popular stout.

“Just don’t trust your farts,” a large warning sign read at the airport bar. “We do not take any responsibility for soiled garments.”