“I Can’t Believe You Dumb Bastards Keep Falling For This Shit.” – David Rockefeller


AMERICAN banker and oldest living member of the Rockefeller family, David Rockefeller, made a rare public appearance today outside his home in Sleepy Hollow, New York, to address several issues that he wanted to get off his chest.

Looking rather frail yet perceptive, the 100-year-old shooed his care assistant as he stood up unattended, still feisty in his old age.

“I’m going to make this quite brief as I have a lot on today,” he began, pulling a silk handkerchief from his breast pocket to wipe his wet chin. “Just make sure your tape machines are on because this is important…..” he barked.”..I may not have long left to live, so I feel this overwhelming urge to tell everyone what I think of them. And I mean everyone on this shit hole planet.

“You are the biggest pack of morons I have ever laid eyes on.” he continued. “Seriously, I can’t believe you dumb bastards keep falling for this shit in the middle east. You people are so stupid that you deserve to be ruled by people like me. You’ve all earned it, you retards!”

Mr. Rockefeller burst into hysterics and began pointing at the shocked faces around him, laughing at them through his cold dead eyes.

After several minutes of this he plopped back down onto his awaiting wheelchair and ushered his assistant to push, flipping everyone the middle finger on his way.

“See you in the next cartoon, suckers!!” he shouted, still sneering.