First Brinks Truck Of The Year Pulls Up Outside Shane MacGowan’s House

FOLLOWING just one day of airplay, the royalties for “Fairytale of New York” have arrived at the home of Pogues frontman Shane MacGowan in an armoured Brinks van followed by an army convoy.

The appearance of a truck full of cash at the singer-songwriter’s house is expected to become a daily occurrence throughout the month of December, as the song gets played pretty much constantly up until St. Stephen’s Day.

Fairytale Of New York, the bittersweet ballad in which a young couple emigrate to America only to have their dreams foiled by addiction, has become one of the most-beloved Christmas songs of all time since its release in 1988.

Airplay of the song cemented a lifetime of financial security for mono-toothed MacGowan, allowing him time to engage in other activities such as drinking and thinking about drinking.

“Eighty bags of fifties delivered today alone,” said one Brinks staff member when we interviewed him.

“Shane just tells us to throw them there in the hall. To be honest, I’m not sure he knows what month of the year it is from January to November, but he knows when he sees us land at the gate, it must be December”.

Fairytale Of New York also holds the dubious honour of being the one remaining instance where it’s sort of ok for national radio stations to air the word “faggot” uncensored, although this is getting more and more onerous with every passing year.