“I Need At Least One Good Bombing Campaign While I’m Prime Minister” – David Cameron


BRITISH prime minister David Cameron has for the 39th time while in office hinted at possible military involvement in a Middle Eastern country, keeping up with a long held tradition carried out by his predecessors.

Mr. Cameron, who was elected into number 10 Downing Street five years ago, said he has been itching for a show of might since 2010, stating “I need at least one good bombing campaign while I’m PM,” while clearly drooling heavily out of his mouth.

Speaking in the House Of Commons, the 49-year-old leader outlined a string of reasons why Britain should begin bombing rebel strongholds in Syria, a move which contradicts previous suggestions made by his Government in 2011.

In an impassioned plea to the Commons Cameron urged that parliament vote for eye wateringly awesome bombs, unlike previous votes such as the 2013 Commons vote on action in Syria which rejected military action.

“ISIS, ISIS, ISIS, ISIS, ISIS, ISIS, ISIS, ISIS, ISIS,” the prime minister pleaded.

“Now, I know I said Assad was unfit for purpose in my last term,” he told members of parliament. “But, we really need to help him now bomb a few rebels and ISIS chaps before we can get rid of him. It’s just easier this way and I’ll eventually get to launch some airstrike’s while I’m at it. I didn’t get to do much in my first term due to that blasted financial crisis so this will be a great opportunity to log a few Cameron run battles in the history books.”

Previously tinkering with the idea in Libya, Iraq and more recently the Falklands and Birmingham, Mr. Cameron expects to begin bombing Syria early next week, just in time for the holiday season.

“I suppose we’ll have to tell Santa to avoid Syrian airspace this year,” he joked, before adding. “And now Turkey too haha.”