“Can You Show Me Where The Tape Section Is?” Phil Collins Asks HMV Assistant

STAFF at a London based HMV store today were taken aback after being approached by a “disorientated pensioner” who was looking for the “tape section”.

The elderly gentleman, who later revealed himself to be singer-songwriter Phil Collins, looked reportedly frail and helpless as staff tried to explain the advancement of modern technology.

“I thought at first he lost his minder or something, so I asked him if he wanted me to do a shout out on the PA system; like we do with lost children,” said store assistant Charlotte Scott. “The poor dear looked confused when I told him that audio tapes were discontinued years ago, and to try the local antiques shop up the street.”

Unable to comprehend what the clerk was saying, the irate 64-year-old insisted on speaking to the manager of the store.

“At first he didn’t believe I was the manager,” explained Terrence Noonan, the stores 43-year-old main floor supervisor. “He said he had kids older than me and that he wasn’t happy being treated like a child and that he wanted to listen to tapes with current music on them. I then tried to explain that he could buy iTunes vouchers if he wanted, to later download the music online. This didn’t help the situation.”

It is understood the former Genesis front man began shouting at the top of his voice, before frantically searching through shelves for “tapes”, knocking over several playstation game stands.

HMV security were then called to help restrain Mr. Collins, who eventually calmed down and left the store.

“The last thing he said was if he was Michael Jackson he wouldn’t be treated this way,” added the store manager. “We didn’t have the heart to tell him that Jackson was dead.”