Audi A5 Recalled Over Dickhead Concerns

THOUSANDS of Audi A5 cars are to be recalled by the manufacturer following a report that found ‘dickhead concerns’ with the coupe.

Audi Ireland has been advising owners of the range sold between 2007 and 2014 to contact their local garage if they have any concerns about their personal behaviour.

“We have found a large majority of A5 drivers to be complete and utter dicks when it comes to sharing the road with other motorists,” the report carried out by an independent group of car enthusiasts stated. “There is no indication whether it’s something to do with the air conditioning or the fact they spent such a ridiculous amount of money on an overrated car. But one thing is for certain: nine out of every ten A5 owners turn into assholes the minute they sit into the vehicle.”

In a statement this evening, the carmaker said it will investigate the group’s findings, but could not guarantee a fix for the problem, hinting that they might just have to discontinue the A5 range indefinitely.

Audi said if any drivers are concerned about their personal demeanour while operating the vehicle they should contact their local dealer and arrange for a free psychological evaluation and car inspection.