Pregnant Woman Just Having A Quick Smoke Outside Maternity Hospital

A DUBLIN woman currently in her ninth hour of labour with her third child has just nipped out to the front of the Rotunda hospital for a quick smoke, sources have confirmed.

Dressed in a bright pink dressing gown, Martha Kearns had a well-earned couple of cigarettes between contractions at the front of the maternity hospital, inches outside of the blue “No Smoking” zone.

Kearns, 28, is hoping the extra nicotine is enough to keep her going for another hour or so until she can leave for a few more puffs. It is believed the woman has packed an extra pack of 20 Silk Cut into her maternity bag to carry her through to the birth of her child.

“Sure you need a bleedin’ smoke with all the pushing and pulling that goes on throughout childbirth,” said Kearns, pausing to ask a passer-by what the fuck they were looking at.

“It was half three this morning when my waters broke, so I barely had time for a ciggie before the taxi came to bring me to hospital. Some people say I shouldn’t be smoking when I’m pregnant, but sure my Mam smoked when she was pregnant with me, and I’m grand. Are you trying to say I’m not grand? The fuckin’ cheek of ye”.

Kearns unborn baby was unavailable for comment.