Nation’s Chefs To Be Sat Down And Told ‘They’re Not All That Important’


THE Department of Jobs, Enterprise and Innovation will sit down with the Nation’s chefs later today to tell them they’re not as important as they’d like to think they are.

An estimated 25,000 chefs from around the country are due to attend Croke Park stadium later this evening for the talk down, which will be carried out by minister Richard Bruton.

“It’s been a long time coming,” Mr. Bruton told WWN ahead of the intervention. “It’s probably our own fault in a way; over-praising people for cooking food. We let it get out of control and only now starting to pay the price with over-saturated food programs presented by arrogant chefs. Hopefully this evening’s talk will put them back in their place.”

It is understood a large portion of the talk will concentrate on demoralising the crowd, using basic overhead slides to help remind them what it is they actually do.

“We’re just going to open up with the ‘You’re not a God, you’re just a person who cooks food’ slide, and slowly bring them downhill from there,” the Jobs, Enterprise and Innovation Minister explained. “Then we’re going to show them a whole range of meaningful jobs that actually benefit society, like: paramedics, search and rescue volunteers, and scratch cards toutes for the Asthma Society.”

It was also confirmed that the Garda armed response unit will also be on hand, in case ‘anyone loses their temper’.

“We expect the worse to be honest,” said a member of the Garda unit. “Chefs are notorious pricks, so this will be a nice opportunity to take the down a notch. We’ve been advised to use reasonable force if necessary; we’re all quite excited about this.”

Doors to the conference centre are open at 6pm this evening and then closed until whatever time it takes to convince chefs they’re not all that important in the great scheme of things.