‘Abortion Pill Bus’ Mows Down 17 Children En Route To Galway

SEEMINGLY confirming the worst fears of anti-abortion campaigners, a pro-choice group has warned Gardaí that they would be “foolish” to stop them mowing down children and giving out free illegal abortion advice over the next two days, as part of a campaign to repeal the Eighth Amendment.

In a huge contrast to the campaign to repeal the Eight Amendment thus far, pro-choice groups have moved down 17 children with their ‘abortion pill bus’, which set off this morning from outside the Central Bank on Dame Street, Dublin.

“See, I told you, they said they wanted to offer guidance, help and advice to women who were forced to carry a foetus to term, even though it had no chance of surviving out of the womb, but sure all they really want to do is kill every last child on the planet,” explained anti-abortionist Brendan O’Byrne.

“Ah, they’ve got us there in fairness. Our aim is to take out as many children as we can,” said Rosa activist Rita Harrold, wiping down the front of the bus with a blood-soaked cloth. “Look, we’re only offering these pills because we hate kids, it’s got nothing to do with giving mothers the choice not to carry a fatal-foetal abnormality full term and endangering their lives, so obviously if we encounter any children on the road we’re going to just run them over”.

The group, which is calling for the repeal of the Eighth Amendment, will deliberately break the law over the next few days in a bid to force a constitutional change which would see an end to women being threatened with 14 years in prison for administering themselves an abortion pill.

“Seventeen kids on our first trip is a stunning success,” added Ms. Harrold, writing the figure on a whiteboard. “Everyone on the abortion pill bus is really enjoying the thuds and screams of our victims too.”

Under the current legislation, abortion is still illegal in this country, except when a panel of doctors decides there is a real and substantial risk to the life of a mother, which can include the threat of suicide. Women are invited to come on board the bus to use the private consultation room where they can speak to a doctor via Skype.

The bus will stop in Galway for a lunchtime rally at the Spanish Arch before heading to Limerick for a demonstration on O’Connell Street.