“I Suppose I Better Get That Bathroom Door Fixed” – Oscar Pistorius


SOUTH African Olympic and Paralympic athlete Oscar Pistorius has been released under house arrest nearly one year after he was jailed for killing his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp and speaks exclusively to WWN about returning to the outside world, his career and future projects.

“I thought I’d never get out of the Godforsaken place,” he began, referring to Kgosi Mampuru II prison, where he spent the last 12 months. “The wifi there was atrocious at best, and don’t even get me started on the lack of proper cable TV stations. If I see one more repeat of Friends I’ll shoot myself.”

Stopping off at his old home, the 29-year-old reminisced briefly in the bedroom.

“I suppose I better get that bathroom door fixed while I’m up to nothing,” he pointed out, now surfing through various wooden door finishes on his iPhone 6s. “I like the walnut, but you can’t beat a good oak door for that grain. They’re durable too, and that’s half the battle.”

Whistling softly to himself, one could not help feeling as though the Paralympic athlete had other things on his mind.

“Sorry if I’m a bit distant, but coming back here gives me anxiety,” he explained. “I always thought the Feng Shui in the room was awful, I’m kinda glad I’m staying in my uncle’s for the next while. It’ll give me time to do up the place real nice.”

Packing the last of his stuff up before being escorted by police to an awaiting squad car, Oscar Pistorius glanced back at his old home one last time.

“It could do with a lick of paint too,” he muttered to himself. “Baby steps Oscar, baby steps.”