Former IRA Member Admits Martin McGuinness Was “A Terrible Shot”

A FORMER member of the IRA has come forward and confirmed that Martin McGuinness did not kill anyone while involved with the paramilitary organisation in the early 70s, adding that McGuinness was such a bad shot that he “couldn’t hit the ground if it wasn’t for gravity”.

During a TV interview due to be broadcast on Sunday, Northern Ireland Deputy First Minister Martin McGuinness refuses to confirm or deny whether or not he killed anyone during his time as an IRA commander in Derry.

Four decades later, McGuinness still claims to be “proud to have been a member of the IRA”, but would not categorically state whether or not he himself killed anyone during the troubles.

However, a colleague of McGuinness’ during the armed struggle clarified that McGuinness may be trying to cover up his dreadful aim, which earned him the nickname “Martin McGuinnmiss”.

“Aye, Martin, sure he couldn’t hit a barn door with a sow’s arse,” said Cathal McMaughnaughey, who did not wish to be named.

“He’s saying he won’t be drawn on whether or not he killed someone? That’s a fancy way to get around admitting that his aim was the worst in the North. He’d open fire and hit nothing, he was like a bad guy on The A-Team so he was”

McGuinness has refuted McMaughnaughey’s allegations, stating that he was a good shot. McMaughnaughey then told him that he “was not”, causing McGuinness to confirm that he “was too”.