Martin Shkreli Lowers Price Of AIDS Medicine From $750 To $749


FOLLOWING nearly a week of violent social media outrage, pharmaceutical CEO Martin Shkreli has agreed to lower the price of vital AIDS medication from $750 to $749, cementing his place in history as one of the ‘baddest motherfuckers’ of all time.

Shkreli had caused uproar earlier this month when he implemented a 5000% rise in the price of Daraprim, a vital drug used in the treatment of a range of illnesses including AIDS and HIV, putting the cost of a single pill from $13.50 to $750.

The former hedge fund manager instantly became one of the most hated figures in the world, and despite several appearances on news outlets across America explaining his actions, Shkreli bowed to public pressure and agreed to lower the price of Daraprim.

In a press conference this morning, the 32-year-old announced that he would be lowering the cost of the medicine by just one dollar, before closing his address by raising both middle fingers and saying, “you’re welcome, bitches”.

The move, one of the most ‘badass’ things anyone has ever done, has won Shkreli the admiration of even his most vocal detractors, including the heads of several AIDS health organisations.

“I have to admit, that is one of the most thug things I’ve ever seen in my life,” said Karl Morrison, spokesperson for the Help the AIDS’ed charity organisation.

“Throughout this whole thing, Shkreli has come across as a spineless, rat-faced little fuck with zero ball tissue, so it was no surprise to us when he backed down and agreed to lower the price of Daraprim. But when he said the decrease was going to be just one dollar and then dropped the mic and walked off, well, you gotta give him props”.

Shkreli was unavailable for comment, as he was too busy high-fiving an imaginary group of friends.