Cash-Strapped HSE To Trade In Hospital Equipment At CEX

IN a bid to offset years of savage funding cuts, the HSE have announced that they will be gathering up as many MRI machines from hospitals nationwide, and bringing them into Computer Exchange (CEX) to see what they can get for them.

Many of the magnetic resonance imaging machines, used to create images of the anatomy during the diagnosis of a wide range of diseases and illnesses, are currently lying unused across the country as budget cuts have left hospitals without the staff to operate them.

Acting Minister for Health Leo Varadkar has announced the trade-in initiative ahead of planning for this year’s budget, and is confident that the scheme will be able to give him extra cash to work with for the upcoming year.

“I brought a Playstation I never used into CEX and got 120 quid for it,” beamed Varadkar, who’s doing his best God love him.

“Sure, it was only gathering dust at home. That’s when I had the notion to get all the idle MRI machines, X-ray machines, life-support systems and ECG machines and bring them into CEX. It’ll free up a bit of space in hospitals, and also save a bit more money, which can be spent on consultancy and management”.

Varadkar is currently investigating is HSE board members will accept payment in store vouchers, as CEX are offering either €320 cash or €400 credit per MRI machine still in its box.