WWN Guide To Forgetting Your Fucking Email Password

SOME people out there have proven themselves experts at avoiding the ignominy of forgetting their email password, but thankfully WWN is here to guide you through forgetting all that. Our tech expert Richard Murphy explains all:

The first thing you’ll want to do if you happen to have a vital email from someone on your personal account is becoming a complete fucking moron. Nice job, you’ve had the same password for 6 fucking years Richard, never once did you forget it until fucking now.

Do you know what would make this worse, if you also used your email drafts to make notes, or if your only form of contact for several important business leads was this fucking email account you’ve locked yourself out of.

Obviously, if you want to specialise in driving yourself mad with your own stupidity, it might be an idea for your password to be something very specific, say a song, album or band coupled with the nickname your ex-girlfriend Sinead had for you. But, right now for some reason you are incapable of remembering what it is.

Yeah, that’s about perfect, you’ll never forget that, not even if you move on, date other people and ultimately marry someone else. No, there’s no chance that the mundane and trivial details of a shit relationship from 6 years ago will ever fade from your memory.

You remember how much of a bitch Sinead was, sure. You got dressed today without any help, marvellous. A simple a password you’ve been using non stop for 6 years? Not a fucking chance.

But, seriously folks, if you want to make sure that forgetting your fucking password is something that can bring you to the edge of insanity make sure to set the recovery email, which gmail will send your password reset email to, as your old college hotmail account foofighterfan69@hotmail, it’s not like you’ll ever forget the password to an account you last used in 2004 while all Bebo, is it Richard you moronic fucking moron?

While still punishing yourself for ever having the arrogance to think you were a fully functioning adult you’ll remember that you gave Google your phone number for such an emergency, but not your current phone number that would be too easy, wouldn’t it? No, you gave them your old phone number when you were still with Vodafone.

Sure, you had ample opportunity to change those details, in fact you had several conversations in your ahead about doing just that, but just like Sinead said 6 years ago you don’t do planning ahead do you? No wonder she left you, you miserable shit. And to think she bought you two tickets to Electric Picnic when Bowie and Arcade Fire were playing, and she warned you to keep that weekend free, but you got pissed with the lads and broke your leg you snivelling waster of…shit it’s honeystarman84. Thank fucking Christ.