Queen Issues Annual Reminder She Is Still Refusing To Die

BRITISH monarch, Queen Elizabeth II has issued her annual reminder that she will staunchly continue in her efforts to simply not die, WWN can reveal.

While the yearly letter is personally addressed to her son and King-in-waiting Prince Charles, its contents are made available to the public just in case of any of them were getting any ideas.

“One can confirm one will continue to refuse to die,” the short letter began and finished, serving a devastating blow to Prince Charles and terrorist group ISIS.

ISIS had claimed they would plot to kill the monarch during this year’s VJ celebrations.

It is believed the threat saw them secure masses of free advertising on the front of British tabloids in exchange for making the claim.

The 89-year-old Queen issued her address a full week earlier in the year than last year, sparking rumours that she has found her great grandson, George openly plotting against her as his popularity grows, thanks to his parent’s decision to dress him up like he fell backwards through a time machine to the 1940s.

The Queen’s doctor Ronald Gallagher has confirmed that conventional diagnosis of his patient is simply pointless.

“I told her in 1979 she had cancer and she said ‘no thank you’, and that was the end of the cancer, it disappeared completely,” Gallagher told WWN.