Inconsiderate Bastards To Sit At Restaurant Table Beside You

A COUPLE of inconsiderate bastards who just entered the restaurant you’re eating at with your partner are to pick the seat next to you, despite plenty of other options being available to them.

The pair, who obviously hold no regard for other people’s personal space, will become even more annoying as they fumble about with chairs and jackets before sitting down and interrupting your in-depth conversation about work today.

Brushing his coat off your right arm ever-so-slightly, the male portion of the duet apologises in the most insincere way possible, before turning to his date with probably some kind of sarcastic face.

“Make yourself at home, why don’t you,” you quietly jest to yourself. “Why don’t you just take off your shoes and put those feet up on our table; I’ll give them a little rub, ya prick”.

Sensing the intrusion, the woman he’s with shields her face with her hand in a bid to say something inaudible to him with her stupid fucking lips; as if the tension wasn’t already high enough between the two tables.

“Why don’t you fucking say that to my face bitch?” you now scream in your head, hoping the mind bullets kill her instantly and they both have to leave in an ambulance. “Fuck off over to another table if you feel our welcome was too frosty”.

Happy in the knowledge you’ve made them equally as uncomfortable as they’ve made you, you sign a telepathic pact, focusing now on the task in hand – your order.

“One more peep out of them and they’ll get the eye,” you tell yourself, referring to the ‘evil stare’ you practice in the mirror sometimes. “I better get the 12 ounce fillet steak, show these fuckers who’s boss”.