Breastfeeders Claim Victory In War On People Who Don’t Give A Shit

A CRUCIAL battle in the never-ending war between women who breastfeed their babies and people who have an opinion on women who breastfeed their babies has resulted in victory for the breastfeeders, despite heavy casualties from people caught in the middle who just don’t give a fuck one way or another.

Time and time again, casual bystanders have been caught up in the vicious conflict between breastfeeding mothers and those who feel they have an opinion in the matter.

Battles have been waged on TV debate shows, online forums and social media pages, leading to much suffering among the majority of people who have no real strong opinions about mothers, babies, breasts or breastfeeding.

The latest clash, which involved radio presenter Dil Wickremasinghe breastfeeding her son Phoenix live on air during her appearance on TV3’s Midday program. This provoked the standard response from people claiming that she “shouldn’t be doing that” and “should have fed him before she went on air”, but the day was won out by people who supported Ms. Wickremasinghe’s right to feed her child wherever and whenever she felt like it.

However, once again the real losers were people who honestly couldn’t care less one way or another, who had to endure both pro and anti breastfeeding propaganda clogging up their timelines and newsfeeds for three straight days.

“The first casualty of war is peace,” said one weary individual, who recently fled to LinkedIn to be safe from breastfeeding posts on Facebook and Twitter.

“Both sides are just so ‘in your face’ making their points to each other, they don’t stop to consider that the vast majority of the population don’t have any issues with breastfeeding in public. Neither side have made any significant ground against the other, but those of us in the middle, the ones who really, honestly just don’t give a shit, have to suffer on a daily basis”.

In retaliation to the success of Ms. Wickremasinghe’s appearance on TV3, the anti-breastfeeding side have declared they will be stepping up their “tutting in public” campaign, much to the chagrin of those who will have to suffer through the inevitable online debate.