Windows 10 Launch Delayed By Updates


THE ongoing launch of Microsoft’s much-vaunted Windows 10 operating system has hit a snag, after the new software refused to load onto servers without the installation of a slew of updates.

The new operating system, which is promised to rectify many of the widely-panned changes made in Windows 8, which were seemingly put in place by Microsoft to see how much shit they could get away with.

Windows 10 was set for a rollout this week, although attempts by Microsoft staff to make the new update available were hampered when their PCs kept freezing up for no apparent reason, often crashing back to a blue screen which required them to pull the plug out of the wall and then plug it back in.

“I clicked ‘make Windows 10 available to customers’, but for some reason my computer opened a new Word document and then asked me if I wanted to watch a video on YouTube,” said one exasperated Microsoft employee.

“I tried clicking on ‘help’ to see what the problem was, but the damn thing couldn’t connect to the server, so I asked for help on connecting to the server, and it told me it needed to be connected to the server to give me that information. I’m about to put my boot through this fucking thing”.

Executives at Microsoft have given assurances that once the updates are installed to Windows 10, the OS will be the best thing on the market and you’ll wonder how you ever managed to use a computer without it.