Vatican To Trial Drone Priests

THE Catholic Church has announced it will launch a new drone priest scheme in various parishes across the world next year, in a bid to compensate for dwindling clergy figures.

The news comes after recent statistics revealed the number of Catholic diocesan priests in Ireland had dropped by a staggering 15 per cent in the last ten years.

Demonstrating the new project in the Vatican city, spokesman Federico Lombardi explained that the new drones will replace human priests only during weekday masses, to “free them up” for more profitable occasions, like weddings and christenings.

“Drone priests will read and perform basic ceremonies like Holy Communion and Confessions,” he confirmed. “Human priests will still perform Saturday and Sunday masses, so there is no need to panic on that front.”

Over 20,000 drone priests are expected to be shipped across the world later this week at a cost of €50 million, or half the Vatican’s yearly income, and will be operated by a customer service team of operators from India. However, the drones will only have the capability to deliver mass and communion wafers for a flight-time of 15 minutes, cutting normal mass times in half.

“Yes, the masses will be shorter due to battery constraints, but I don’t think too many people will complain about that,” added Fr. Lombardi.