5 Things That Happen At Every Irish Wedding

We here at WWN are probably a little different from everyone else in that we’re big fans of an Irish wedding, and so we’ve compiled a list of the 5 things that happen at absolutely every Irish wedding. Classic!

1) A marriage represents two people who love each other dearly coming together in a union, but it is also the joining together of two families and this is no better realised than in the ‘in-law swapping’ ceremony which precedes the wedding ceremony. Here, the parents of the couple partner swap in an effort to further solidify the bond between the two families. Depending on stamina levels the act, which takes place behind a curtain on the altar, can last anywhere between 3 seconds to 60 minutes.

2) An ancient Irish custom relating to weddings sees many guests wish a slow and painful death on those in attendance; it’s a nervous time for men and women as they avoid making eye contact with fellow guests for fear they will be told “you’ll be next”.

3) Just when the night seems like it is winding down after the food has been eaten, the speeches are done, and the best dance moves have been pulled comes the part of an Irish wedding women fear and delight at in equal measure. Clearing the dance floor, any single women over the age of 35 are fetched and placed on chairs in the middle of the room. And then with much enthusiasm all those women who are in relationships chime bells while chanting ‘shame, shame, shame’.

4) The Best Man speech: for many it is the highlight of the night, but for the Groom it can be something to dread. Did you know that 61% of all Irish best man speeches involve detailed descriptions of various ‘hilarious’ crimes being carried out and later become keys parts of the prosecution’s case against the Groom. Successful prosecution for the murder of Thai prostitutes and the dismantling of epic underground drug-fuelled sessions have been achieved this year alone.

5) What wedding would be complete without a great wedding band? It’s not an Irish wedding until guests bump into the lead singer of Matrimony Mike & The Best Men 5 in the toilets, unable to get himself mentally prepared for the 234th wedding performance of the month, crying about that time he nearly signed a record deal with Universal Records.