Weirdo Sitting Alone In Cafe Not Even On His Phone


A COMPLETE weirdo sitting at a table in a local cafe hasn’t once checked his phone, despite being there for almost ten minutes now.

Staff at Charlie’s Coffee Pot in Waterford expressed concern shortly after the young gentlemen sat down at table 12, on his own, and proceeded to stare vacantly into space: as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

“One of the table staff confirmed that he may have what looks like an iPhone 5 in his pocket, but doesn’t seem too bothered about using it,” explained manager Magdo Zlinko. “He must have dozens of notifications by now. Why isn’t he looking at them? It’s very strange behaviour”.

Following several more tense minutes of looking around, the strange man seemed to become uneasy after coming into eye contact with several Coffee Pot staff members.

“I think he knows we’re onto him,” pointed out one waitress, forcing her boss into action.

Fearing for the safety of her staff and customers, Ms. Zlinko decided to call the local Gardaí, who just happened to be passing at the time.

“They ended up arresting him thank God,” she later confirmed. “He denied everything and started screaming about how his phone battery was dead and that he was just thinking about life, with his head.

“But why didn’t he just say that in the first place?” she asked. “He was definitely up to something”.

Gardaí later confirmed that they charged the man for resisting arrest and remanded him in custody while a file is being prepared for the Director of Public Prosecutions.