Taoiseach Locks Himself In Room And Won’t Come Out Until Nation Stops Laughing At Him


A SPOKESPERSON for the Taoiseach’s office confirmed that Mr. Kenny has locked himself in his hotel room, and won’t come out until everyone stops laughing at him.

The lock-in comes just 24 hours after an embarrassing handshake snub by US president Barak Obama, leaving the Irish prime minister hanging during the annual St Patrick’s Day festivities in the White House.

Enda Kenny went to shake the hand of the US President for the cameras, but Obama was looking away and didn’t see him extend his hand. The Taoiseach then retracted his hand before pretending to examine his nails like nothing happened.

“First thing he asked after the interview was ‘did anyone notice that?'” a close aide to the Taoiseach told WWN today. “We said it wasn’t that noticeable, but by the time we got back to the hotel it was front page news at home.”

Sources close to Mr. Kenny revealed he began slapping his forehead with the palm of his hand out of rage, calling himself stupid in a weird voice.

“Enda just kept hitting himself and calling himself a stupid boy,” said one eyewitness. “It was like he was imitating an old woman – maybe his mother.”

Staff at the hotel confirmed a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the Taoiseach’s door and that his security detail had asked if there was a spare key for the room as Mr. Kenny had locked himself in and wasn’t answering.

Spokesperson Darren Ryan later confirmed the report, and urged people at home to stop laughing at Mr. Kenny as he is quite upset over the whole thing.

“Everyone has had their fun now lads so give over,” Ryan told a small gathering of journalists outside the hotel lobby. “It has been a long trip and Enda is very tired and emotional. He won’t come out of the room until everyone stops mocking him”.

It was also confirmed that Mr. Kenny ‘took back’ the bowl of shamrock that he gave earlier to the US president as a present.

“What made Enda worse was the fact that no one even noticed him taking it back,” added Ryan.

“No one even cared”.