Woman Telling Everyone She’s 84 Looking For A Fucking Medal Or Something

A COUNTY Waterford woman telling everyone her age at an art exhibition yesterday evening was probably looking for a fucking medal or something, it has been suggested today.

Catherine O’Sullivan, an amateur painter who had three pieces on display at the gallery, was reported to have opened every conversation by dropping her age into the first few sentences.

“We were just looking around when she came over asking if we liked the piece we were looking at,” said one attendee, who was with his wife at the time. “Before we knew it, she mentioned it was her painting and that she was eighty four years of age. My wife, of course humoured her by saying how young and alert she was for her years. To be honest, she smelled of moth balls and looked a bit like Worzel Gummidge”.

During a brief ‘few words’ Ms. O’Sullivan later addressed the tens of people that came to the exhibition in a bid to thank them for coming, and more importantly emphasis the fact she was in her mid-eighties.

“I’d like to thank you all for coming this evening. When I started painting after my husband died in 2005, I never thought I’d be here showcasing my work some ten years later at eighty four years of age,” she said, pausing for a rather forced and pathetic applause. “I still feel twenty in my mind, and some of you have already commented that I looked a lot younger. But I’m not. I have my passport here to prove it”.

Handing out her passport to the uninterested crowd, she took some more microphone time to go off point and talk about her regular walking routine.

“Most of my inspiration comes from my long walks in the country; I do at least nine kilometres a day,” she added, pausing again for some man in the back who began clapping for no reason whatsoever. “I find my weekly Pilates class also helps me to clear the mind”.

Following the half-hour speech, one of the attendees pointed out the self-indulgence of it all, wondering why his fellow OAP was looking for some kind of award for her longevity.

“What’s she looking for, a fucking medal or something?” asked eighty-nine-year-old Marty Brophey. “I was unaware people were getting prizes for aging”.

“Quick, bring out the ticker tape fucking parade; she’s walking to the shop for the messages,” he added, before being ushered out of the gallery by his embarrassed daughter.