Irish Red Setter Was Last Seen Drunk At Crufts Bar

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AUTHORITIES investigating the suspicious death of an Irish Setter at Crufts today have revealed the dog was last spotted at the venue’s bar in an ‘inebriated state’, and have asked revellers to come forward with any information they may have regarding the animals final moments.

Its owner claims the dog, who was celebrating coming second in his class at the English dog show the day before, perished after being poisoned.

Investigators began retracing the dogs steps in a bid to refresh peoples memories.

“After receiving his prize, Jessie went back to his hotel room to have a quick shower and a shave.” lead detective Jeremy Woods explained. “According to CCTV footage at the hotel, Jessie left his room at 10:47.”

“We then see him peeing on a hotel plant in the lobby some five minutes later before sniffing a fellow residents anus, who we can now confirm was Dolly – a female poodle guest also staying at the hotel.”

Receptionist Tina Mackey recalled seeing the Irish Red Setter licking its balls outside the hotel entrance at 11:15, where he is believed to have hailed a taxi back to the crufts NEC arena for an “after show party”.

It is understood that at least 400 participants of all breeds and sizes attended the party, which organizers admit was ‘not short on incidents’.

“There will always be trouble when you put so many dogs under the one roof and add alcohol to the mix.” said a member of staff. “We had to throw out a couple of pit-bulls for fighting. There were also a few terriers giving jip, but their barks were worse than their bite.”

Witnesses confirmed that a handful of Irish setters were left in the bar after they stopped serving.

“Jessie was singing the Irish Rover with some other Irish setters. They were in good spirits at the time and everything seemed fine.” said barman William Colbert. “Irish dogs can drink like fish, so we just left them to their own devices.”

However, upon returning home with his owner to Belgium the following day, Jessie took seriously ill and later died.

The animal’s owners have said that scotch laced with unknown poisons was found during a post-mortem examination, and West Midlands police are liaising with Crufts officials and the NEC to secure potential evidence.

More as we get it.

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