Irish Maternity Hospital Tests Baby Drone Delivery System

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A DUBLIN maternity hospital has begun testing an in-house baby drone delivery system which will not only deliver the baby, but also transport it to its awaiting mother following birth.

The trial is expected to last six months and will be monitored by three specialists to determine if it is cost effective or not.

“At the moment we employ a midwife and two assistants to deliver each child,” said CEO of Holles Street hospital Dr. Darren Swords. “This can cost us anything up to ten euros in wages for all three workers, depending on how long the delivery takes”.

Dr. Swords revealed that the new Cervix 3000 could save the hospital millions of euros every year if successful, releasing vital health care funding into other important areas like gastric band treatments for the obese and unemployed.

“We will also offer up a home delivery service for parents who wish to just go home after the birth instead of waiting around, taking up beds,” he added. “An internal GPS tracking system will help fly the child directly to your door for an extra fee of €300. You don’t even have to worry about crashing on your way home with the baby anymore. We’ll do that for you”.

The new system will also be tested on surrogate mothers giving birth, where the child will be delivered by drone to adopting parents, saving them the hassle of ever having to come into contact with a birth mother.

Already there are hundreds of pregnant mothers signing up for the new system which begins operation at 3pm today in Holles Street Maternity Hospital.

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