Assaults On Gay People Probably Just Some Lads Having A Bit Of Harmless Craic


IN a strange and harmless incident that has echoes of a far off land not connected to modern Ireland in any way, the LGBT community are being targeted online in ‘catfishing’ traps which have resulted in individuals being violently assaulted.

With an upcoming referendum on marriage equality just months away everyone in Ireland is well aware notions of small-minded ignorance and hatred are simply not prevalent in this, our thriving modern democratic island.

The latest act of violence visited upon someone because of their sexuality occurred in Cork, and is the first such attack to happen in Ireland since 1901 however, the public are encouraged not to fact check that.

WWN can exclusively report that those in the LGBT community are shamelessly trying to suggest such incidents are an example of how discrimination, if allowed to fester, can rot the flesh of our beloved Mother Éire, who is incidentally definitely a devout Catholic.

Obviously not knowing when their argument is invalid the LGBT community even went on to highlight ‘facts’ and ‘figures’ about attacks in Ireland motivated by homophobia.

Meanwhile the No side in the upcoming referendum have rightly reassured the public it’s nothing to worry about, confirming that such attacks on gay people are probably just some lads having a bit of harmless craic.


“I think we’ve all piled into a car at some point with a bunch of lads on the way to giving someone a good thumping,” reassured Daithí Price, member of the No Way No Gays group, “I actually can’t think of a better way to get out some of your own unresolved feelings about yourself and I think those who get the odd punch feel better for it too”.

Price went on to reaffirm his unerring commitment to pretending to have the gay community’s best interest at heart while simultaneously shrugging his shoulder when it came to suggesting a way to bring an end to such intolerance.

“I’m not sure what certain people expect when they just go out there with the gall to live their life,” added Daithí Price from the Mothers Shouldn’t Marry Their Daughters pressure group.

The harmless ‘gay-bashing’ sits in stark contrast to the recent spates of violent Chinese burns carried out on the innocent and vulnerable Catholic minority.

“There were 4,980 such brutalities visited on Catholics this week alone. And more disturbing is that those ‘people’, if you can call them that, the attackers that is. They aren’t even Chinese,” Daithí Price of the I Know It’s None Of My Business But I Heartily Object family group told WWN.