Greece Begins Stripping At Local Club To Help Pay Its Way

FOLLOWING a decision by the ECB to withdraw the use of Greek Bonds as collateral for loans, officials in Athens have announced that the country is to start working as an erotic dancer in a local club in order to pay its bills.

Under terms of the Greek bailout, the ECB had accepted junk-rated Greek bonds as backing for access to cheap financing for the banks.

However, following a meeting between Greek finance minister Yanis Varoufakis and ECB president Mario Draghi in Frankfurt yesterday, the European Central Bank made the decision to withdraw this funding, possibly due to rising tensions with the newly-elected anti-austerity Greek government.

With avenues for accessing credit running out, recently-appointed Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras has made the decision that the entire country will have to spend the next six months grinding for tips in a local Gentleman’s Club in order to pay the public service bills.

“We’re just going to have to work the pole for the next while,” said Tsipras, whose Syriza party enjoyed a landslide victory in recent elections.

“Just to help pay our way until we can get a handle on this thing. I hear from a friend of mine that you can make really great money from the punters, plus there’s no shame in it. Just remember; we’re not strippers, we’re dancers”.

As Tspiras began his shift at the Pink Acropolis, the Irish Minister For Finance Michael Noonan refused to be drawn on whether or not Ireland would be joining Greece on the stage in a pair of assless chaps and a cowboy hat.