No Going Into The Bottom Row Of Milk Tray Rule Now In Operation


WITH the Festive season well underway, households across the country have been warned that going onto the bottom row of Milk Tray before finishing the first is now strictly prohibited.

The popular confectionery is a traditional source of Yuletide hostility, with many chocolate lovers opting to sneakily move to the lower tier of the double-decker box to feast on their preferred sweet.

In 2013, A&E wards were over-run by patients who had become involved in brawls with friends and family over the onerous practice, causing the government to enact martial Milk Tray law this year.

The news was welcomed today by chocolate support groups, who year after year have to cope with calls from distraught members of the public who have lifted the top tray off only to find all the good chocolates gone.

“Every year in Ireland, countless Christmases are ruined by the selfish acts of people who just want to eat all the favourite Milk Tray sweets and leave the shit ones behind,” said Samantha Bourke, managing director of the Milk Tray helpline.

“These callous people make a swoop on all the Turkish Delights and the Hazelnut in Caramel sweets, leaving nothing but the Strawberry ones for other people in the house. With the new laws now in place, hopefully people will see reason, and dutifully work their way through the entire top layer of Milk Tray before starting on the next one”.

The new law comes into place one year after the legislation was passed stating that anyone caught putting empty After Eight envelopes back into the box should be brought outside in the street and stoned to death.