Religious Cult To Distribute ‘Marriage Plan’ Drafted By Imaginary Man In The Sky
AN INTERNATIONAL religious cult announced today that it will distribute a 16 page leaflet on “The Meaning of Marriage” across Ireland, ahead of the 2015 same sex marriage referendum next year.
The memorandum, which the group claims to be drafted by an imaginary man in the sky called God, seeks to inform fellow cult members that, “the union of marriage provides for the continuation of the human race and the development of human society.”
The cult, which formed in 110 AD using core beliefs loosely taken from ancient Egyptian and Greek folklore, claimed the institution of marriage between a man and a woman is sacred, stating that children have a natural right to a mother and a father.
Cult under-bosses, frequently called Bishops, launched the leaflet in Maynooth college in Kildare earlier today.
“Our God our Father specifically states that marriage is a committed relationship between a man and woman, and not between a man and a man, or a woman and a woman,” said Bishop Kevin Doran of Elphin, referencing a passage from a book called The Bible, which he claims to contain the word of God – despite it being written by a handful of middle-eastern men over two millennia ago.
Meanwhile, thousands of people nationwide have urged the cult to just “shut the fuck up” with their opinions, hinting that their time in Ireland has passed, and to move on to less well off, education-deprived countries instead.