Waterford Wins 2014 Snidey Towns Award

WATERFORD city has today been named Snidey Towns winner 2014, beating competition from 849 towns and villages across the country.

Minister for the Environment Alan Kelly presented the prize to the city mayor in front of a sneering crowd in John Roberts square today, where he congratulated the “worthy winners” on a fantastic achievement.

“This is a fantastic news for the people of Waterford,” said the minister, who was openly jeered throughout the entire presentation. “I am very impressed by the enthusiasm you have all shown here today. As a visitor, I don’t think I could feel any more uncomfortable in this city.”

Welcoming the victory, the county’s chairman of tourism, Mossey Roache said the win was the result of a great team effort by local people and businesses.

“Waterford people pride themselves on being cynical cunts, so it’s great to be actually recognised in that fact,” he told WWN, before later cutting the back off us to another local newspaper.

The Snidey Towns competition – first launched in 2007 –  is judged by an elected panel of elderly men and women who assess the general spitefulness of an individual town or city.

Speaking about the win, Waterford Lord Mayor Cllr. John Comings said he wasn’t too bothered about the news, stating that he didn’t like the crystal trophy that was awarded at the ceremony.

“The design is horrible and the trophy is too small to be given for any kind of award,” he said. “I wouldn’t give it to a special kid after winning an egg and spoon race.”