Struggling Waterford Family Forced To Pee, Poo And Brush Teeth Together In Same Shower


A STRUGGLING Waterford family confessed today to having to “pee, poo and brush their teeth together” in the same shower every morning due to expensive water rates.

The Darcy’s begin their daily routine at 7am, carefully squeezing into their 4 foot by four foot shower.

“We have it down to a fine art at this stage,” explained dad, John Darcy, also full time son of two parents. “The first thing is to get everyone washed and teeth brushed before we start emptying our bladders and bowels. We usually let the kids do their business first before sending them out to dry. Sometimes it’s hard to hold it in though, especially after a few cans of Guinness the night before.”

“I suppose the worst part of it is breaking up the faecal matter with a pencil so it flows out the drain.” he added. “But at least it saves five cents for every toilet flush!”

With the introduction of the new water rates – which is expected to cost the Darcy’s a staggering €278 annually – thousands of families across the country are now also resorting to “family showers” or “family baths” to cut down on their bills.

“I suppose you get used to it after a while.” said step father Derek Hanigan from Cork, who regularly shares the family bath with his partner and her three teenage daughters. “It can get cramped at times, but complaining will get you nowhere these days. All you have to do is lather up make sure your family is clean.”

The Commission for Energy Regulation today said water will cost €176 for a household with one adult and an extra €102 for every extra adult living in the household, for both drinking water services and wastewater services.

It is estimated that the average family of four can save up to €23.50 a year by sharing a shower or a bath every morning.