8 Reasons Why Irish Women Are The Best In The World
Today we turn our attention to the beloved and not praised enough Irish woman.
1. Irish women often have Irish names such as Ailbhe, Aibhlinn, Sadhbh, Beibhinn and Eibhleann but despite common mispronunciations and misspellings plaguing them, Irish women show great dignity, grace and patience when correcting people. Leaving you with only minor cuts and bruises while they compassionately refuse to spit on you in disgust.
2. While it might seem an obvious one at first, but Irish women’s slow, reluctant acceptance of the Irish male’s relentless need to use bodily functions such as passing wind and belching to communicate is right up there with the finest examples of why they really are the best in the world.
3. Irish women are always there for one another, except for that bitch Ciara, who if you ask me could do with losing a few pounds, no wonder Andy left her. This great quality sets them apart from their international rivals overseas.
4. Is always good for a fib or two on the stand. Whether it be your mother, grandmother, sister, friend, girlfriend or bit on the side, they are ready, able and willing to state that you were not in ‘X’ on the 12th of ‘Y’ beating seven shades of shite out of ‘Z’.
5. Irish women are incredibly smart and well educated meaning they quickly understand the futility of life and forgo the traditional existential crisis in favour of procreating as soon as possible in an effort to surround themselves with little people who will look after them in old age.
6. Pursuant to the previous point Irish women thankfully are okay with having their vast successes in countless different professional disciplines relegated to small corners of pages in national papers in favour of a young woman in a bikini advertising a new broadband service with a giant foam prop securing the front page.
7. Irish men have, historically speaking, been pretty shit. And that matters.
8. Another reason Irish women are the best in the world is because a list like this is wasted on them. They are too busy living their lives to be taken in by a cynical list that offers the vague promise of validation. No, not Irish women thank you very much, we’re too smart for that!