Arty Type To Spend Most Of Culture Night Down A Laneway Skulling Free Wine


WWN can exclusively reveal that Emma Trainor, a self-confessed ‘culture nerd’ and huge fan of Culture Night will spend most of her night down a laneway in Dublin’s city centre skulling back some free wine she managed to take from various art galleries which have opened their doors to the public for one night only.

Culture Night is Ireland’s premier showcase for many artistic outlets and endeavours and NCAD student Emma is hell bent on consuming as much culture that is contained in the free wine laid on by a number of venues.

A truly great night on the country’s culture calendar, people can immerse themselves in myriad artistic experiences or in Emma’s case lean against a wall with friends and slowly slope into a drunken stupor around the 11pm mark.

The wine, most likely from Lidl, will be consumed with all the enthusiasm and passion Emma claims to have for the arts. After momentarily stopping in each gallery to stare at a painting, giving the impression that she is ‘totally getting it’ she will then proceed to casually place a bottle of red in her jacket, then making a quick escape.

Free wine has been the lifeblood for many arty types who are living a bohemian life, which, according to experts means they will turn up at the opening of an envelope if it means there will be alcohol. It has also been long suspected that art galleries exist as a thinly failed attempt to disguise middle-aged women’s excessive drinking habits.

It is believed a gallery on Francis Street will have the wine with the highest percentage of alcohol, meaning Emma will have to make the easy choice between seeing a ballet centred around Children Of Lir set to the music of Metallica, taking place on Cows Lane, or drinking that 2014 Tesco own brand white wine.