Residents Of Muff Getting Pretty Tired Of Your Shit Jokes


THE population of Muff village in Donegal issued a statement this morning telling the rest of the country they are fully aware of the sexual connotations of their town’s name, and they have heard just about all the shit jokes associated with it by now.

The statement comes after years of having to endure sniggers of laughter whenever Muff is mentioned, either in the media or just in conversation. The mere mention of the town name is enough to send the average Irish person into a fit of giggles, or make them blush if they have to say it themselves.

This has led to uncomfortable situations for Muff dwellers, especially when filling out forms or meeting new people. Many Muffians will often choose to give false information on forms, or just tell people they’re from Donegal and leave it at that. Acknowledging that the country will never get it out of their system and move on, residents of the quaint village made an impassioned plea for people to just let it go.

“Muff means vagina, HA HA HA, very good, now let’s just drop it, ” said Conn Trainor, head of Muff residents’ association, also known as “The Muffia”. “Whatever you’re going to say, whatever wile funny joke you’re going to crack, we have fucking heard it. Stop thinking you’re Billy Connolly because you mention our diving club”.

“And here’s the thing; you never hear an Irish person using the word muff anyways – we use fanny, or gee mostly. I’ve heard some of the younger lads say gash. But muff is a real English term for vagina. So how about giving the shit jokes a rest? Spare a thought for our young people, who have to tell new friends they’re from Muff. Give them a fucking break, like”.

With every newsreader and radio presenter pausing to compose themselves after every mention of Muff, residents are hoping this morning’s plea will lead to the country finally giving them a break.

In a further development, the pleas of the people of Muff were later seconded by residents in the town of Pissflaps, Co. Carlow.