6 Things Priests Only Did In Ireland

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Do you sometimes forget all the banterific behaviour of priests in Ireland? Well, as part of our HerDailyEnterJoement series WWN is here to remind you of what were uniquely Irish occurrences when it came to priests.

1. Up until 1993, the Hokey Pokey was only allowed to be performed by members of the clergy. They put their right hand in, their right hand out, they put their right hand in and shook it all about. They did the hokey pokey and turned themselves around, and that’s what it was all about.

2. People think only Irish priests raped children, but that’s not true. Priests from America, England, Belgium, Germany, Australia, Canada, Poland, Austria, Italy, France, South America, Asia and Africa did it too so this doesn’t count as one of the things priests only in Ireland. However, Irish priests are the only ones who routinely stole pens & pencils from school they visited.

3. Elite Banshee Hunting Squad – yes, you heard right. Our quaint little island happened to be home to the only squad of priests dedicated to tracking down and killing wailing banshees. Available records suggest this group of priests killed as many as 1,000 entirely mythical creatures.

4. Prostate exams were regularly performed by your local parish priest at a cost of 3 and six pence for a man, and 4 pence for a woman. Following numerous malpractices, the exam can now only be carried out by a professional medical practitioner, and only on men.

5. Holy Communion/Confirmation Tax – I know, you’d just cleared it from your mind and then the horrible memories return. It was 1997, you had those trousers with the buttons on them. Fr. Drury demanded a cut of your confirmation money the cheeky bastard. The church put a stop to this practice pursued by Irish priests, which could see the holy men increase their yearly salary by as much as €60,000 euro a year.

6. Pretending to believe in God just for the women. Many priests carried on some fantastic affairs with women in their local parish, impressing the impressionable with their devout love of God which was merely an elaborate ruse concocted to get some loving.

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