Mayo Fan Was Diagnosed With Mad Cow Disease 3 Weeks Ago

261
0
Share:

match5

THE Mayo fan who confronted the referee in the dying moments of Saturday’s All-Ireland football semi-final replay has admitted he was diagnosed with Mad Cow Disease just three weeks ago by doctors.

Big Mick Barrett, from Castlebar town, said he could not control himself after referee Cormac Reilly made some controversial calls during the game, giving two frees to Kerry in extra time.

“Doctors said I might experience periods of rage and advised me not to attend the game,” he told WWN in an exclusive interview.

Despite warnings, the 54-year-old horse of a man made his way to Croke Park with his daughter on Saturday, but it wasn’t long before the Bovine spongiform encephalopathy (BSE) started to take hold of his emotions.

“During the first few minutes I found myself scratching the ground with my foot. I felt very anxious and everything went black and white,” he described. “I managed to keep it under control throughout the game, but once that gobshite referee gave those frees I was gone.”

Eyewitnesses in the stand said Mr. Barrett leapt over the safety barrier ‘like a bull’ before tearing across the field towards to referee.

“I thought I was in Spain or something,” said one ‘hilarious’ witness, who proceeded to laugh at his own description of the incident before being told to shut up and get on with it. “It took twelve of them to stop him. The man was like an animal!”

Unfortunately for Mr. Barrett, this analogy was surprisingly correct.

“Mad cow disease in humans is a very rare and dangerous virus which causes a spongy degeneration in the brain and spinal cord, causing animal like tendencies,” explained treating physician Dr. Mohammed O’Shea. “People should not be really praising Mick’s on-field attack as they are the actions of a lunatic – and a very sick one indeed”.

“The only known cure for BSE is death by bolt gun. We hope to have Mick go through this procedure within the next couple of weeks – before he kills someone,” he added.

Share:
X